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red clay ponderings

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Danita Clark Able

You Do You

I know something you may not know yet…

Wearing your natural hair is a brave and empowering move.

When you choose to grow your natural crown…you remove pretense. You feel more spirited, more daring. Whether your intentions are to make a bold statement or not… isn’t important. Because regardless of intent, your decision to walk away from the box makes subtle, yet very loud proclamations…

I am confident.

I like me. No, I love me.

I’m not here to please you.

Move along with your negativity.

What happened to get me up on my soapbox today?

Yesterday, a friend showed me a video of her friend… a woman who had recently stopped coloring her hair. She told me people were telling her friend that, with her grey hair, she looks older than her mom, or grandma… (I don’t remember precisely, because about that time, my blood pressure started rising).

My friend mentioned that she was concerned with how unhealthy her hair was beginning to look, and considered the damage was caused from dyes.

She asked if I colored my hair to make it silver. I told her I didn’t, and explained the process I experienced when growing out my natural hair. I could sense her hesitation as she touched her hair and looked in the mirror. I could feel all the comments running through her head:

“she sure looks older”… “must be somebody’s grandma”…. “no longer attractive “…. “man, she aged fast”…

I’ve heard all of them. Those carelessly spoken words sting at first. But then you realize they’re spoken out of insecurities and naïveté, and you feel empathy for the person hurling the dart.

Women shaming other women for aging naturally and beautifully, exposes a dark shallowness in the heart of the critic.

You might think, “Who do these women think they are? Cleopatra? Aphrodite? Helen of Troy?”

No, they don’t feel like those legendary beauties. Most likely, they more closely identify with Olive Oil, or the Sea Hag… or the little girl on the playground who became broken and self-conscious from the taunts of an insecure seven year-old bully.

It takes a while to get to that understanding.

Not to be misleading, I’m all about taking care of my skin with excellent skincare products (you know where to find me… DanitaClark.myrandf.com ). There is nothing wrong with slowing down the natural progression and aging as gracefully as possible. But if a woman (or man) chooses to display their natural, God gifted hair… leave them alone.

Let them do them.

You do you.

That’s what sweet little Cooper said to me, “You do you, Diffy”. ~ and it was excellent advice from a six-year-old.

Listen, if you want to color your hair until you’re one hundred and three, go right ahead Sister! You do you. But don’t shame the thirty year old that chooses to let her (his) silver sparkle like diamonds in a black sky. Let it be.

You do you.

Girls in the Windows

Chances are, you’ve seen this photo before. Perhaps…and I dare hope… you might know one of The Girls in the Windows.

Photo by: Ormond Gigli

I hope to locate at least one of the girls… I have a question I want to ask her.

The photo was taken in 1960, New York City. The girls ages would be late seventies and higher now.

Is she your mom? Your grandmother? Your aunt? Your mother-in-law?

Please contact me, if you can help in any way.

With gratitude,

Danita

770-881-1007

DanitaAble@yahoo.com

Facebook.com/Danita.Able

Instagram @danitaclarkable

December 1995

One year in December, when my children were 8 and 6, I took them to Washington, DC for the National Tree Lighting Ceremony. In the afternoon, we situated ourselves up close and personal to the Nation’s Christmas Tree, naively believing we would stay in our perfect spot throughout the service. But prior to the Clintons emerging from the White House, Secret Service Agents forced us to a faraway distance. We were disappointed, but didn’t complain. We were in our Nation’s Capitol after all, and it was Christmas.

After being relocated, we were some distance from the activity of the White House. Yet even with all that air and city street noise between us, we could hear President Clinton speaking. And as we walked away from the National Tree that evening, we heard the children’s choir sweetly singing Christmas Carols. I knew it was possibly a once in a lifetime event, and I relished the experience.

Earlier that day, my children and I had taken a Christmas tour of the White House. It was spectacular, like nothing I had ever seen. I wasn’t a supporter of old Bill and his First Lady, but I had immense respect for their title roles as my nation’s leaders. I respect the home of our First Family. It’s got some history… not all good, you know? Still, it’s their home, our house.

So when given the opportunity to view the interior White House Christmas decorations, I was thrilled, knowing my children were experiencing something special.

My two little ones and I walked through those history laden halls reverently, and in awe. Not once did we criticize First Lady Clinton for her decorative style. But six year old Garrett did question why, if the White House belonged to the People, we couldn’t just sleep there for the night. It was a reasonable question.

From the published photos, it appears Melania has decorated our house beautifully.

I like those red trees.

I love the green trees.

Thank you, Melania. You’ve done a beautiful job. 🎄

Merry Christmas!

Another Last, First Day

My Sweet Cooper,

Your big adventure begins today. It’s a momentous day for the little girl who loves shoes, jewelry and all things girly. (Even your guinea pig is named Sparkles.) You’ve anticipated this day all summer long, maybe longer. Your first day of Kindergarten.

You call me Aunt Diffy. I call you my Sweet Coop-A-Loop, a name Carter and your dad came up with before you were born.

But I never know exactly how to reference you, when I’m (frequently) telling others about you. You’re my nephew’s baby girl. My brother’s granddaughter. Are you my Grand-Niece, my Great-Niece? You’re both grand, and great, in my eyes.

Do you see these First Day of Kindergarten photos your mommy and daddy shared? Just look at the joy in your eyes, the mischief in your grin, the sweetness of your countenance and the confidence of your intellect. You are truly grand, and really great, my sweet Coop.

I’ve also looked forward to this day, because you’ve looked forward to it. But I’ve felt some apprehension, too. And not just because your great-granddad, Papa Grady, says “Cooper seems to be having birthdays faster than the rest of them”.

It’s because you’re leaving a safe environment and stepping into a world that doesn’t always include the rest of us.

You’re ready for it. I’m not.

School is a magical place. But it’s also a brutal place.

One of my prayers for you Coop-A-Loop, as you begin your educational journey, is that no one ever steals your joy. Already, you know you are surrounded by an army of people who love you. And we’ll always be with you, even when you don’t see us. Even when we’re gone. But will you remember how much you’re loved, on the days that aren’t so lovely?

I hope so. I pray so

When the day comes that you encounter a “mean girl”, and you will encounter one… probably before you finish kindergarten … I hope you dig deep, and allow the defiant spirit of your great-grandmothers to rise up in you. You have some tough, strong grandmothers.

On the day you encounter a bully, I hope you feel the love of your family, your warriors, surrounding you, encouraging you to march on. Head up, eyes focused, face forward.

I hope you understand that the meanness of others has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with jealousy… and the insecurities of the one hurling the dart. I pray those word-darts never hit their target. But if they strike, I hope they slide off like hot butter on Teflon.

I pray you’re able to see past the mean exterior of anyone who may be lonely or unloved, and extend a hand of friendship.

My prayer is that you, Carter, and children around the world, have a safe school year. Every year.

May lifelong friendships begin today.

PS, let’s check back here thirteen years from now. #touchdownGeorgia! ♥️🖤

Do you know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

1 Corinthians 9:24

*he* didn’t know anything…

 

People get tired of hearing me say “Rodan+Fields has changed my life and my skin”. I know they tire of me talking about my business. But when something good turns your world upside down, in a loving and tremendous way….you can’t help talking about it. Right?

By a long-shot, I’m not the only person seeing life improve through RF…and I like hearing about what Rodan+Fields has done for my friends as much as I like thinking about what it’s done for me. Some of their lives have been changed in more incredible ways than even I can comprehend. Earlier in the month, a friend and Rodan+Fields business partner shared a very personal look at the transformation of her life. She and I come from similar, broken places…we’ve both had our self-esteem ripped and tattered by words attached to the ends of fiery arrows. And worse. Those days are gone now. Oh it’s true, the “word memories” do surface every now and then. But thankfully, they are quickly vaporized when I think of the sweetness of today and the promise of tomorrow. 

Please read my friend’s words… I believe you will feel her gratitude in them. And know that what we do, you can do, too. Your life can change, you are not destined to live financially strapped in a pit of despair. If you’re interested in learning more, you’ll find my contact information at the bottom of this article.

Thank you for reading…

Best Wishes, Danita

 

Her Words….

“This is Reflective and emotional. So… just skip on by if that’s not your thing.

I had a surreal moment today. Today I dropped my daughter off at her piano lessons and sat in my parking spot for a bit while I talked on the phone. I glanced up and caught my reflection in window of the storefront. Overwhelmed. That’s me sitting in that shiny white Lexus that Rodan+Fields pays for. (*he said I would never have anything.)

I walked into the bank to fill out some paper work and the young man asked me.. “what do you make per month before taxes”, it was necessary for their paperwork. I stumbled over my own words as I said it out loud.. “um.. this month..$XX,XXX and it goes up ever month usually.” He stopped and looked at me and said.. “what do you do?” And then.. I shared. Just a little part time work changing skin and lives and you can see my business online. I gave him the full story. We are talking later about that. (*he said I would never amount to anything or have anything.)

I received a call from one of my business partners today thanking me through tears for sharing this business with her and how it has changed life for their family and how she has been paying their mortgage with her RF income and how it has relieved a burden. I cried. (*he said I was good for nothing)

I received another call someone working diligently in their business to retire themselves and they are making confident strides in that direction. She is bravely moving forward. Oh my heart is thrilled for them.

I walked in our lovely home filled with sunshine and full of life. I am thankful.

EXACTLY one month ago I was on a plane returning from San Francisco after being treated and treating my team to an amazing trip. I stood on stage and shared a little piece of my journey before 350 people. (*he said I’d never go anywhere.) This is real life. I can’t believe this is my real life. It’s not what I was told it would be. It’s not even what I thought it would be, but it is REAL life. The one terrible picture is of me trying to keep from the snotty ugly cry on the airplane coming back from San Francisco. I was listening to the two songs in the picture and I could barely hold it together. You only see glimpses of this journey but it I wish you could KNOW. I wish you could KNOW how this can change life for yourself, your family and others. I wish you could know the support and encouragement. I wish you could know the satisfaction of watching someone succeed beyond their wildest dreams and having the tiniest part in it. I wish you could know what it’s like to hear the dreams of others and pray with every fiber for their success. This business causes you to face yourself and I get it, that’s not easy for everyone, including me. But this is REAL life and I’m experiencing all of that.

I invite people on this same journey because I’m living it’s effects. I want this for others. I’m overwhelmed. God is good.

That (*he) who painted such a dismal picture for me. Well, I had long since forgiven him but sometimes the word memories float to the surface. I know those words are from the liar (John 8:44). I know TRUTH. I know who God says I am and I know that HE provided this opportunity for me to walk in and work in and I will do so in a way that honors Him. It doesn’t look conventional for a missions family…but my mission in living in HIS plan and walking in the path that HE has laid out. This is my Ephesians 3:20 path. I may cry tears of thanks. I may laugh that God has used a little poor country girl to do some incredible things and go some incredible places…but I KNOW His plans are good. I trust HIM.

I’ll be over here in a “teary thankful, overjoyed, overwhelmed, feeling FREE, Loving life, laughing at the wildness of the blessing”…mess!”

 

DanitaAble@yahoo.com     Text: 770-881-1007

RCA

Setting The Record Straight

Because the doubt has come up again, I’m blogging a facebook post I wrote earlier this year. DLG MothersDay

July 9, 2015

Setting the record straight….I haven’t had plastic surgery.

In the past two days, a few unconnected people have alerted me to individuals on their Facebook pages claiming this before and after photo I posted was either:
1. photoshopped
2. The result of “plastic” surgery

Neither are correct. How much does cosmetic surgery cost? $5,000? $10,000? $20,000? I don’t have money like that floating around, but if I did, I would spend it on my daughter’s wedding, car repairs, kitchen cabinets. A vacation would be nice .

Cosmetic surgery didn’t even make it to my Bucket List.

The Rodan+Fields products I use and sell, work. If you use as directed, they work very well.

*Details of the products I used are in this article:
https://redclayponderings.com/2015/04/14/scarface-undone/

A Blemished Life Redefined

DLG MothersDay

I first heard about Rodan + Fields as I was going through a divorce.

It was in 2010 when my friend Teresa began making a few posts on Facebook regarding her new business. Teresa and I were childhood friends but had not seen each other since graduating from high school more than 30 years prior. We had recently reconnected on Facebook and I had taken notice of her posts. I was intrigued about Rodan+Fields, mainly because if I knew anything about Teresa, it was that she would not align herself with a company/business that wasn’t top notch, first class. Still, what she told me seemed too good to be true. Too much unlike any other direct sales company I had ever heard of:

  • No Parties
  • No Inventory to purchase.
  • No Mandatory meetings.
  • No Deliveries
  • Money Back Guarantee on all Products

We talked about the business opportunity and she said she believed it was just what I needed to get me on my feet and back into the land of the living. She saw my possibilities, but I didn’t. I had been in a 24 year marriage; a physically, emotionally and financially abusive relationship. To put it mildly, my self-esteem was lower than the sludge in the bottom of a barrel of worms. It was bad. Add to that the burden of realizing I was about to be technically homeless; I didn’t know how I was going to eat or where I was going to sleep, I couldn’t fathom taking on a new business. I didn’t believe I could learn anything new…At my age?

Teresa invited me to a Rodan + Fields event she was attending. I told her I couldn’t go. The thought of being in a room of glamorous women and well-put-together men was more than I could handle. It was an overwhelming and frightening prospect.

So for a year or so, I lived the life of a vagabond; I slept on the sofas of friends and my ex-sister-in-law, spent a month with my son in Chicago, stayed in a friend’s home on the Gulf Coast for a few months while I finished writing a book, moved back to Georgia where I had a semi-permanent residence in a friend’s basement. And all the while, I was watching Teresa. I saw her skin improve, I heard the difference in her voice and in her posts. I could tell success with RF had become a reality for her. Still, I stayed in the shadows, afraid to take the first step.

Money concerns were my ever present companion. From time to time, RF would enter my mind and I would touch base with Teresa. But I was broken financially, and didn’t think I could afford even the $45 Business Kit. Spending $45 was the difference in putting fuel in my vehicle or staying home for a month. Fast forward to October 2013: I was driving up Interstate 75 and I felt…felt deep in my spirit… God say to me, “I’ve given you a way up, out of the pit, but you keep looking down”. I knew He was referring to Rodan + Fields. From that moment on, there was no more thinking about it… that evening I contacted Teresa and told her I would become a consultant January 2014…. first I had to save up $45 for a kit.

I wish I could describe to you the elation I felt upon making that verbal commitment. I knew I was walking into a life changing arena.

I became a consultant January 2014 and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It’s difficult to fathom that for years I let $45 and a cobbled up mindset keep me from bettering my life. I believed that I was unequipped to take on anything new: I can’t do that.not just as a 24 year era of my life is ending. But as we know, hindsight is 20/20. In retrospect, it’s easy to see, the ending of one life phase is the perfect time to begin something new.

If someone has mentioned Rodan+Fields to you, give them a chance to tell you more. Whether you need more income, a new group of supportive people in your life, extra vacation money or a retirement plan. RF won’t take up much of your time, but it sure does free up time for more life affirming opportunities.

If no one else has approached you about Rodan+Fields, and if this sounds the least bit encouraging or interesting to you, please contact me. I won’t waste your time, I promise.

Sometimes we don’t know we need something until we have it.

Sincerely,

Danita Clark Able, Rodan+Fields, Level 5 Executive Consultant

Cell: 770-881-1007

http://www.DanitaClark.MyRandF.biz

ScarFace Undone

This past October 2014, I had surgery on my face. The surgery was to remove skin cancer from beneath the surface of my face.

September, the month of impending change, is when I learned I had cancer. Before surgery, I had a couple of weeks to think about the alien living below my eyes, beneath my skin. I hated the idea of something foreign living there. Knowing it was caused by too many unprotected days in the sun, I vowed to never again go outside without wearing a good quality sunscreen. I’ve honored the vow.

Below is a photo of the day I learned that the yellow fireball in the sky had not been my friend.

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This is what the spot looked like… a pimple that wouldn’t go away. I didn’t think it was anything to be concerned about. Until it lingered and wouldn’t clear up.

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I had both dreaded and looked forward to surgery. I was not excited about having my face opened up, but I was anxious to get the show on the road. October, one of my favorite months, ushered in Surgery Day; my good friend Angie Alexandersen drove me to Marietta for the procedure. I went into surgery believing all cancer would be removed and knowing I would have a scar afterwards. I just didn’t know how wide, long or deep the scar would be. But my attitude was: Ok…you’ve had fifty plus years of a relatively unmarred face. So you may have a scar. Deal with it. You’ve fought tougher battles than a blemished face.”

But I also knew I would help the scar heal physically with the products I “peddle” (that’s how one of my son’s friends described my business skill-set). 🙂

I am a consultant with Rodan+Fields, the skincare company created by Drs. Katie Rodan and Dr. Kathy Fields. During the past year, I had seen my client’s wrinkles decrease, age spots disappear, rosacea, eczema and acne cleared up… leaving behind a flawless complexion. And while RF doesn’t make claims of healing scars, I knew I would give our products a chance before using the expensive creams my doctor suggested.

The doctors and nurses had instructed me to wait a few days before removing the surgical bandages. In the meantime, I tried to set my mind for whatever lay beneath the white netting covering one side of my face. Expect nothing, just pull the bandages back and accept what’s there.

Alone and holding my breath, I carefully removed the gauze and tape. One look and my stomach knotted up slightly and I sort of wanted to cry; but then I talked myself back: It could be worse. It wasn’t in the bone. Others have dealt with so much more. Think of what Denise is going through. If this is the worst of it for you, consider yourself fortunate.

IMG_0045

I developed my Rodan+Fields Game Plan. And when the stitches were removed a week or so later, I began applying RF Night Renewing Serum and RF Overnight Restorative Cream directly to the raw, invaded area.
Night-Renewing-Serum3

RF Overnight Cream

A couple of weeks after sutures were removed, the scar area began to harden and raise up in a long rigid line down my cheek and alongside my nose. It reminded me of the Rocky Mountains, except it was an angry red mountain range rather than one of snow-capped beauty. My physician told me it was from the internal stitches healing and pulling the tissue and muscle from different directions. “The roots of the cancer were spread in different angles, you were stitched accordingly. We can talk about procedures to correct it after you’re completely healed”.

Searching the internet for restorative possibilities, I came across a surgeon using a ‘needlling’ process to break down scar tissue. Watching the video, I had an “aha moment”: “Hmmmm, RF has the AMP MD Roller. I wonder if that would work as well as what the doctor would use? The roller has surgical grade needles on it. I’ll give it a try”.
Six weeks after surgery, when most of the tenderness was gone, I began “needling” the scar with the AMP MD Roller. Immediately after “rolling”, I applied the serum and the PM Cream. I did this every night before going to bed; in the mornings, I reapplied the Overnight Cream. I still “roll, needle” the area every evening. Since then, I’ve added the full Redefine Regimen to my bedtime routine.
RF Serum Roller

I began to see a rapid improvement in the look of the scar once I added the RF AMP MD Roller to my scar-healing game plan. I’m still elated with the results I’ve received with Rodan+Fields products. Many times I had been impressed with the improvement in my my friend’s skin after using RF, but I was shocked with my outcome. And then one day the thought floated through my head…“Why are you shocked? Didn’t you believe you were worthy of the best? You tell your clients they deserve improved skin. So do you.”

I’ll never stop using Rodan+Fields products. Each and every thing I sell has a 100%, empty bottle, 60 day, money back guarantee. If I can help you, message me or one of your Rodan+Fields friends….we’ll talk about your own game plan. Whether it’s for wrinkles, age or hormone spots, acne, skin irritations…we have something to help you. You have nothing to lose.

Your skin will be with you until the end…treat it well.

I no longer wear foundation cosmetics, so each photo posted here is naked skin, no editing.

Photo in the bottom right corner of the collage was taken in January 2015.

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March 2015

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April 11, 2015

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Changing Skin, Changing Lives

Video: Scarface Undone

Danita Clark Able
Rodan+Fields Executive Consultant

In My Life…A Video Discussion about Letters

DanitaCindy (1024x576)
This week, a graceful lady and I met at her Cartersville, Georgia studio…Cindy Harter Photography to discuss Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife. Always gracious and full of Southern hospitality, Cindy agreed to video our conversation so that I could share with others.

If you’re ever in need of an amazing photographer, look up Cindy Harter Sims of Cindy Harter Photography…her beautiful work is remarkable.
She’s on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CindyHarterPhotography
Cindy’s website: http://www.CindyHarterPhotography.com

Our Conversation:

Thank you for watching,
Danita

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