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red clay ponderings

Hmmm… what shall I ponder on today?

“You weren’t old back then.”

Cooper is four years old, and she loves looking at old photos. She asks questions about the people in the photographs, sometimes she makes a statement about the photo. She’s done this since she was three, at least.

“That’s you and Lindsey when she got married”, Cooper, age 3.

“That’s you when you were a baby. With your grandma?), age 3.

Me: “Yes, and she’s your great-great grandma”.

Thanksgiving week, my nephew and his family once more made the

journey to North Georgia, out of Florida. As usual, sweet Cooper showed interest in several photos. But not the ones she had studied last time she visited. Once she’s learned a lesson, she moves onto the next.

“Who’s this, Diffy?”

Me: “That’s your dad when he was a senior in high school.”

Cooper, as she shows the photo to her dad, “Look at you, Daddy. Look at you”.

She brought more photos for inquiry. Her blonde curls fell around her shoulders as she moved about. After a while, she started toward me with another old photo, one in a shiny silver frame. Before reaching me, she stopped in the middle of the dining room, intently studying the picture. I could see her wheels turning, trying to figure out the identity of the people in the frame. Finally, she asks pointedly, “Who are they?”

Me: “Oh, that’s Garrett when he was two years old. And me”.

She stood in place, but raised her her toward mine, and let her eyes move slowly across it, coming to a rest on my hair. She looked down at the photo again, studied it a while longer, then looked up and locked eyes with me. And in a very sympathetic, but matter of fact voice, she said, “You weren’t old back then”.

Her mom may have wanted to cringe, but I laughed! I’m smiling now, thinking about her innocence. Cooper wasn’t being mean or insensitive, there was no malice in her words. She was simply stating a fact.

It’s a real life fact, that if we are fortunate, we live to be old. I remember when I was four, Cooper’s age, when 57 sounded like it might be the age of Moses. Now it seems so young.

The hardest thing for me isn’t age, though. It is realizing how I wasted time in the 53 years between 4 and fifty-seven.

Too many wasted years spent in a bad relationship…. years sitting in Atlanta traffic two-three hours per day… years wishing I had gone to law school, telling myself it was too late… years thinking I was not as gifted or talented as everyone else. Years of bulls$&¥.

So this is for you, if you’re living a life not exactly doing what you want to be doing… Get up and get going, change. It’s not too late. Do the hard work that it takes to make the change, and see it through. Reconnect with old friends. Tell yourself you are talented, gifted and something special. Because you are.

And then go do what you want to do. If the people in your life don’t support your goals, surround yourself with those who do. If you can’t find anyone to cheer you on, be your own cheerleader. Leave the self-centered, negative people behind. Because #aintnobodygottimeforthat .

Live your life fully. Live it now. For one day, sooner than you know… you’ll be on the other side of an old photograph.

The Thief

He snuck in quietly, unseen. No one in the house was aware of his presence. He hid behind familiar things, in plain sight, and stole from us. He took art and music, stories. He stole a little everyday, yet we didn’t notice.
We were all so busy with our own lives, seldom taking time to stop by the familiar white house. So busy. When we managed to find time… Christmas, Thanksgiving…. we were in the holiday hustle, and didn’t notice what was missing. We didn’t see the thief, even while he sat down at the table, and ate Christmas cake. We didn’t see him.

But she…. she had become aware of the thief. She tried to hide him, cover his tracks. She hoped he would leave, without taking more, for his sake…for hers. Ours. She didn’t want us to know he was there. She wanted him to go away, the thief. But he refused to leave. He stayed. He has moved in.
And it’s heartbreaking.

My brain doesn’t work right anymore “, he told her.
It’s as close as he’s come to acknowledging the thief.

Alzheimer’s, dementia…. may be the cruelest of all diseases. The body can remain healthy, muscle memory still remembers how to mow the lawn and split firewood. Drive a car. The face looks the same, but the brain has changed, memories shifted. The person no longer fully there. He has been stolen. Both people in the house… robbed of their golden years.

My dad had not played his guitar for many years. But on Thanksgiving, this year, he agreed to play and sing for us. And in a short span of time, mere minutes, he began to resemble the music man I grew up with. I was amazed at the transformation made by music, and I want to share the video here for you to see. I want to preserve it, so I can watch again, and remember.

NannyPoppy
Cindy Harter Sims took this photo of my parents a few years ago, as The Thief was moving in. At the time, my dad told Cindy, speaking of my mom, “I just feel better when I’m with her”. She is his comfort zone.

NP4
Photo taken by Garrett Able, Thanksgiving 2017

NP2
Photo courtesy of Garrett Able, Thanksgiving 2017

The Great Pyramid of #RF

Rodan + Fields is a Pyramid Scheme.

I hear that from time to time. And I do get it….I understand why your knee-jerk reaction is to believe RF is a scheme. Believe me, I’m aware of all the snake oil sales companies out there. They rope you into their lair with hype and then require you to lug their merchandise around to home parties…. and then you learn you have to make deliveries to those friends who felt sorry for you and purchased what you were hocking. And the incurred cost they forgot to tell you about…. It’s shocking to learn that you are required to go into debt every month buying junk you’ll never use. That isn’t a sustainable way to operate a business. One month you’re loaded up with new goods, displayed like a shrine on your dining room table. Six months later, the same shrine is set up on the back wall of your hometown Goodwill store. And your Visa is maxed out.  No thanks.

Rodan+Fields isn’t like that. First of all, Pyramid Schemes are illegal and I would never be involved in any sort of illegal activity. So if we are family or friends, and you call my business a Pyramid Scheme, I will assume one of two things.

  1. I only thought we knew each other. Or…
  2. You haven’t done your RF homework, therefore speaking from an unaware point of view.

Rodan+Fields is a legitimate company and RF Consultants are legitimate, home based business owners. In truth, most companies actually are structured like “pyramids”, right? If you’re looking at a company’s payroll by levels of income, it’s probably going to resemble a pyramid. The owner is at the top and earns the highest salary, everyone else trickles down.

Right out of the gate, we are different.

Rodan+Fields is the namesake, legacy business of Drs. Katie Rodan and Kathy Fields…. I’ve been told they don’t take a salary from RF. (They probably earned a few dollars with the other company they created. You may have heard of Proactiv?). Dr. Rodan and Dr. Fields are intelligent women who saw a need and set about finding a solution. They are generous with their time and company rewards. They reinvest RF profits into their consultant’s businesses, they fund quality product development, and they give to charity.

They change lives.

In regard to earnings, the playing field is level in Rodan+Fields. For instance, a Harvard trained attorney and a high school drop-out can earn the same income with RF… the drop out can actually earn more than the attorney if she/he is teachable. With Rodan+Fields, empires are being built and legacies are being created. They are being created by teachers, stay at home moms, doctors, dentists, chefs, hair stylists, scientists, baby sitters, maids, and lawyers…the diverse list goes on. It’s a wonderful work from home company, one empowering men and women from all backgrounds. You know, you could actually become my business partner tomorrow, and if you’re willing to do the work, you can build an empire with RF. If you work, you will see success. By work, I’m not talking about pushing out 40-60 hours of labor each week. Work, in RF, means you are willing to talk about our clinically proven products. Work means you aren’t worried about what someone thinks of you for sharing before and after photos of our customers. (May I add….those people you’re worried about don’t pay your bills?). It’s easy work, but it takes a commitment of more than a few minutes here and there to build a lasting legacy (did I mention our RF businesses can be willed to our family). However, if building an empire isn’t your dream and you simply want to earn a few hundred dollars a month, that can easily happen with very little time invested.

No, we aren’t a Pyramid Scheme. We aren’t even like other Direct Marketing companies. We are beautifully unique.
Here’s a link to my personal RF product journey: https://redclayponderings.com/2015/04/14/scarface-undone
I would be happy to tell you more.

Sincerely,

Danita

770-881-1007

 

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Go Away OJ

OJ: “I’ve always tried to be a good soldier.”▪️Hush your mouth, OJ. You don’t have the honor of calling yourself a soldier. 

OJ: “Basically I’ve lived a conflict free life. I mean, I never got in fights on the street.”

▪️That’s right, Juice. No street fighting for you…not where men might get the better of you… where your public image would be tarnished. You were having none of that. The Narcissist knows when, where and with whom to wear his mask, and he chooses when he’ll remove it. 

You removed your mask for few. 

You saved the ‘beat the hell out of you fights’ for women, for wives and girlfriends…behind closed doors. Until the night Nicole took it to the street and revealed the monster behind the mask.  
I watched the woman in the courtroom yesterday, the one who misspoke your age…she was charmed by you. Fooled by you. But those who have dealt with the likes of you were sickened by your false display of humility. 
I can’t imagine what the families of your victims felt when they saw you sitting there…the blubbery thug who hijacked their lives. I can imagine, for the brief time that you were incarcerated, they felt their loved ones were seeing a bit of Justice, though the sentence was never on their behalf. Still, it must have provided…something. 
But now, here you are, forced upon all of us again. 

Relentless news coverage of your life. We are sick of you. 

Just Go Away Orenthal. 

Let these two have peace.

Aimee 

Have you ever met someone who, without even trying, changed the way you perceived yourself? Until today, I’ve never had such an encounter, not in this profound and positive manner. And to be frank, I’m astounded by the emotional growth I’ve experienced in a mere six hours. I know, I know…such things are bursts of energy, not a lasting, change. 

But I’ve had a mindshift, and it’s everlasting. 

I met Aimee Copeland this afternoon. But can I tell you, I felt her presence before she introduced herself? We had an appointment to meet at the Chattahoochee Nature Center near Atlanta. She was already there, waiting outside, when I arrived. It was as I first walked toward her, that I felt it. “You must be Danita”, she said. Think what you will, but I promise you, a very confident, strong, warm, sincere and sweet spirit greeted me in the space between she and I…in advance of that verbal greeting. My friend Dani was with me, and she experienced the same. 

Perhaps her name is familiar to you. Aimee had a zip-line accident about five years ago, and as a result, lost limbs, and nearly lost her life. Given the same situation, most of us would have succumbed to defeat. But something didn’t allow Aimee to give up. I believe it was that spirit I witnessed today. Inner strength. Faith. Hope. Love of life. 

Aimee has started a foundation, the Aimee Copeland Foundation.  She has a plan to create a nature park accessible to people with disabilities. She understands how difficult, if not impossible, public parks and gyms are for people with disabilities. As a psychologist and athlete, she also understands how detrimental a life lived solely indoors is to our emotional well-being. (Maybe someone will be able to help her out…She’s looking for land on which to build her dream. Donated land would be awesome!). 

What was the purpose of my meeting with Aimee?  Yoga. 

For several years, I’ve been losing the ability to walk unassisted…the residual effects of a battle I had with Goliath. I’ve tried to hide it. It feels like another assault, it feels personal. I’ve been embarrassed by the falls and stumbles. I’ve felt the red hot sting of humiliation in asking a stranger for help out of a chair, or an arm for steadiness…otherwise risk losing my balance and falling like a skidrow drunk. I’ve sat in my car at Dellinger Park, praying, trying to will my legs to have the balance and strength they used to have, to walk the hills and trails. Or make laps around the track. I’ve cried privately to God, knowing that barring a miracle from Him, I’m going to eventually be in a chair. I’ve been able to maintain hope for improvement, but lately I’ve felt a bit defeated. Believing it was time to accept my destiny and give up unrealistic expectations. 

Then today happened. I met this beautiful young woman…Aimee. Beforehand, I knew she was in a chair. But upon meeting her, I did not see her chair. I didn’t see her prosthetics. I saw life. I saw and felt a vibrantly beautiful life. Hope. 

I did yoga with her. Outside. In a public place. On video. And I wasn’t embarrassed. I wasn’t hyper aware of my imperfections. I did not feel inferior.                                                  It felt good to be outside, moving my body again. I left there today feeling like I can conquer the world, as long as I do it in small portions, consistently. 

Thank you, Aimee. That giant has not defeated me after all. 

My sister, Ivanka

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The girl in the photo, on the right, is one strong sister. The strongest sister I’ve ever known.

“There’s a chip on your shoulder, girl
And by God it’ll make you fall
If you let it take a part of your soul”. M&S

Sisters, help me understand what’s happening here.

We told the world we would not judge Hillary Clinton by her husband’s behavior…his documented and proven, philandering ways. We told women….young girls, mothers and dads, to give HRC and daughter Chelsea a break, because they were not responsible for Bill’s objectification of women…his rape of women or the abuse of his title. We know Hillary threatened and paid some of the women Bill abused, but we asked the world to look the other way and give her a shot at becoming president….President…Even though we know HRC ignored the pleas of Patriots while they died on enemy land.

You, some of you….fought like the devil for Hillary. You claimed you were fighting for all women. You said you wanted to see the glass ceiling shattered and you cried when Hillary wasn’t the one to break it.

For reasons I don’t understand, you marched with a stuffed pillow strapped to your head, and called it a vagina. You claimed you were marching for my rights, the rights of women around the world. You said you represented all women. The Sisterhood. Really now? I’m sorry, Sugah… but no. Don’t take to the streets behaving that classless and distasteful, and claim you are representing me. You called yourselves Nasty Women and proved it to be true, because you left mountains of trash on the streets of our cities. You made a mess with your trash…you left it on the sidewalks, the streets and in the doorways of businesses….and you left it for your sisters to clean up….the women who make their living in public sanitation. That doesn’t sound like a sisterhood to me. It sounds more like a pack of spoiled, overindulged, ill-mannered, selfish younger girls, not sisters.

And now, you’re attacking Ivanka, the First Daughter. You’ve created a campaign to destroy her businesses. You’re playing a schoolyard game of “I don’t like her so you can’t like her either”. You are bullying her, why? Because you don’t like her dad? Grow up, girls. The First Daughter, a successful, intelligent advocate for Women’s Rights, a woman who will break many glass ceilings, is being bullied by the women who “marched for the rights of all women around the world”. Hypocrisy oozes from that proclamation. Your actions expose your sham. For the record: Hypocrisy is the contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real character or inclinations, especially with respect to religious and moral beliefs; hence in general sense, dissimulation, pretense, sham.

If you are truly supportive of all women, prove it by supporting all women. 

Enter gracefully, leave peacefully.

Danita Clark Able, Author, Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife

 

 

 

The Chief

We didn’t know his name.

Most had never given a moment’s thought to who might be the Chief of Police in one of America’s most historically tragic cities; 1963 was a long time ago, after all. But in less than a week, we’ve become familiar with Chief David Brown. Fate and tragedy pulled him from obscurity and forced him on us.

He gained our respect immediately. We could sense his goodness, his integrity. Clearly, a man who prefers a quiet life. We didn’t know the man though. We’re getting to know him, daily. And as we do, our respect grows.

Every life has a story, and this one is something else.

 
The Washington Post /July 8 

Few people understand loss better than David Brown, the Dallas police chief who stood before television cameras Friday morning and said, “We are heartbroken.”

Even before five police officers were killed Thursday at the site of a Black Lives Matter protest where seven other people were wounded, Brown had become all-too familiar with grief, pummeled by it again and again in his career and personal life.

Before this week, violence had already taken from him a former partner, a brother, a son.

“There are some people who would just shut down, and they would have others conducting the interviews,” said Keith Humphrey, the police chief of Norman, Okla. “But that is not David. He realized the community wants to hear from him. The nation wants to hear from him.”

It wasn’t the first time Humphrey, who was once the police chief in Lancaster, a suburb of Dallas, had seen Brown step up under painful circumstances. In June 2010, Brown was only seven weeks into his new position as chief when the son who bore his name killed a Lancaster police officer and another man before being fatally shot more than a dozen times.

It was Father’s Day, Humphrey recalled.

But even as Brown mourned his 27-year-old son, a young man who struggled with mental illness, Brown asked Humphrey for help. He asked if he could reach out to his son’s victims and arrange a meeting. On the two consecutive evenings Brown walked into their homes, Humphrey recalled, he did so not as a police chief but as a father who was hurting, too.

“He approached those families as David Brown, the father of a young man that caused so much hurt in both of these families lives,” he said. After Humphrey made the introductions and hugs were exchanged, Humphrey walked outside to give the families and Brown privacy. “As I was walking out the door, I heard David say, ‘First of all, I’m sorry,’ and ‘My son was not raised this way.’ ”

When Brown was named police chief in 2010 after climbing the ranks of the Dallas police department, he entered the position with a reputation of being an intense and introspective leader, according to those who knew him. A Dallas Morning News profile at the time quoted him as telling a friend, “You know I’m a loner, man.”

But for a private man, his personal pain has been excruciatingly public — and those who know him say it places him in a unique position to lead an anguished Dallas police force.

WP 7/8/16

*he* didn’t know anything…

 

People get tired of hearing me say “Rodan+Fields has changed my life and my skin”. I know they tire of me talking about my business. But when something good turns your world upside down, in a loving and tremendous way….you can’t help talking about it. Right?

By a long-shot, I’m not the only person seeing life improve through RF…and I like hearing about what Rodan+Fields has done for my friends as much as I like thinking about what it’s done for me. Some of their lives have been changed in more incredible ways than even I can comprehend. Earlier in the month, a friend and Rodan+Fields business partner shared a very personal look at the transformation of her life. She and I come from similar, broken places…we’ve both had our self-esteem ripped and tattered by words attached to the ends of fiery arrows. And worse. Those days are gone now. Oh it’s true, the “word memories” do surface every now and then. But thankfully, they are quickly vaporized when I think of the sweetness of today and the promise of tomorrow. 

Please read my friend’s words… I believe you will feel her gratitude in them. And know that what we do, you can do, too. Your life can change, you are not destined to live financially strapped in a pit of despair. If you’re interested in learning more, you’ll find my contact information at the bottom of this article.

Thank you for reading…

Best Wishes, Danita

 

Her Words….

“This is Reflective and emotional. So… just skip on by if that’s not your thing.

I had a surreal moment today. Today I dropped my daughter off at her piano lessons and sat in my parking spot for a bit while I talked on the phone. I glanced up and caught my reflection in window of the storefront. Overwhelmed. That’s me sitting in that shiny white Lexus that Rodan+Fields pays for. (*he said I would never have anything.)

I walked into the bank to fill out some paper work and the young man asked me.. “what do you make per month before taxes”, it was necessary for their paperwork. I stumbled over my own words as I said it out loud.. “um.. this month..$XX,XXX and it goes up ever month usually.” He stopped and looked at me and said.. “what do you do?” And then.. I shared. Just a little part time work changing skin and lives and you can see my business online. I gave him the full story. We are talking later about that. (*he said I would never amount to anything or have anything.)

I received a call from one of my business partners today thanking me through tears for sharing this business with her and how it has changed life for their family and how she has been paying their mortgage with her RF income and how it has relieved a burden. I cried. (*he said I was good for nothing)

I received another call someone working diligently in their business to retire themselves and they are making confident strides in that direction. She is bravely moving forward. Oh my heart is thrilled for them.

I walked in our lovely home filled with sunshine and full of life. I am thankful.

EXACTLY one month ago I was on a plane returning from San Francisco after being treated and treating my team to an amazing trip. I stood on stage and shared a little piece of my journey before 350 people. (*he said I’d never go anywhere.) This is real life. I can’t believe this is my real life. It’s not what I was told it would be. It’s not even what I thought it would be, but it is REAL life. The one terrible picture is of me trying to keep from the snotty ugly cry on the airplane coming back from San Francisco. I was listening to the two songs in the picture and I could barely hold it together. You only see glimpses of this journey but it I wish you could KNOW. I wish you could KNOW how this can change life for yourself, your family and others. I wish you could know the support and encouragement. I wish you could know the satisfaction of watching someone succeed beyond their wildest dreams and having the tiniest part in it. I wish you could know what it’s like to hear the dreams of others and pray with every fiber for their success. This business causes you to face yourself and I get it, that’s not easy for everyone, including me. But this is REAL life and I’m experiencing all of that.

I invite people on this same journey because I’m living it’s effects. I want this for others. I’m overwhelmed. God is good.

That (*he) who painted such a dismal picture for me. Well, I had long since forgiven him but sometimes the word memories float to the surface. I know those words are from the liar (John 8:44). I know TRUTH. I know who God says I am and I know that HE provided this opportunity for me to walk in and work in and I will do so in a way that honors Him. It doesn’t look conventional for a missions family…but my mission in living in HIS plan and walking in the path that HE has laid out. This is my Ephesians 3:20 path. I may cry tears of thanks. I may laugh that God has used a little poor country girl to do some incredible things and go some incredible places…but I KNOW His plans are good. I trust HIM.

I’ll be over here in a “teary thankful, overjoyed, overwhelmed, feeling FREE, Loving life, laughing at the wildness of the blessing”…mess!”

 

DanitaAble@yahoo.com     Text: 770-881-1007

RCA

Setting The Record Straight

Because the doubt has come up again, I’m blogging a facebook post I wrote earlier this year. DLG MothersDay

July 9, 2015

Setting the record straight….I haven’t had plastic surgery.

In the past two days, a few unconnected people have alerted me to individuals on their Facebook pages claiming this before and after photo I posted was either:
1. photoshopped
2. The result of “plastic” surgery

Neither are correct. How much does cosmetic surgery cost? $5,000? $10,000? $20,000? I don’t have money like that floating around, but if I did, I would spend it on my daughter’s wedding, car repairs, kitchen cabinets. A vacation would be nice .

Cosmetic surgery didn’t even make it to my Bucket List.

The Rodan+Fields products I use and sell, work. If you use as directed, they work very well.

*Details of the products I used are in this article:
https://redclayponderings.com/2015/04/14/scarface-undone/

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